Today’s Funny Spam Mail – Shade Sail Arizona

Posted: July 7, 2011 by Thos003 in Just for Fun, scorpions
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Hello, my name is Oxxxxx Mxxxxxx and I am a Internet marketing
professional. I had done a Google search under the keyword shade sails
arizona and had run across your website www.bulwarkpestcontrol.com. I see
that you are not listed on the first page of Google for your particular
search.

I am not sure if you’re aware of why you’re ranked this low but more
importantly how easily correctable this is.

Hahah!
There’s no reason that you can’t have top three rankings for the keyword
shade sails arizona based on your website structure and content. You have a
very nice site…

#EpicFail

Wow… I am not sure what I was thinking. How did I miss the fact that I don’t rank for shade sail Arizona? Maybe if I had know about this stellar keyword then I could of dropped in Bulwark’s address at 40 N. Central Ave, Suite 1400, Phoenix, AZ 85004 and added it to our local search terms. Thanks for checking on this for me. Not even sure that I really know what a Shade Sail is, but I am pretty sure that I will be ranking for it shortly. But I think it would be more valuable for me to rank for Phoenix Pest Control, since I am an exterminator. Or maybe even Phoenix Scorpion Control. …Although it would be nice to sell some shade sails to all of our customers so that our technicians could work under a shade rather than the 120 degree heat. But I don’t think that’s an easy add on for a bug control guy.

In more recent new from Phoenix AZ:

Comments
  1. Interesting, Ophelia Maxwell has knocked on my website door too! She apparently feels my website, FlirtyDivaTees,( with her expert talent,) could rank for new jersey tee shirts. It already ranks for tee shirts with funny sayings, well maybe not on page 1 but climbing, it also does very well for funny saying t shirts and slogan tee shirts, and shirts with attitude, not to mention flirty tees, my big one. I didn’t fall for this, but it is cool how many inquiries I get in my spam email from internet fleas like her, she wouldn’t have found me if I weren’t ranking for something

  2. A3 says:

    Too Funny! I get these emails often, but they usually have applicable key word suggestions. Let us know if you discover what a Shade Sail is!

  3. KatyKitten says:

    I’ve had my websites since July of this year and I’ve used the internet extensively for the last 20. It’s only since I’ve started my own business that I’ve realized I’m just a rainbow tailed guppy in a vast ocean of hungry sharks. Has anyone had an experience where someone actually did you some good, delivered what they promised and it didn’t cost you the kitchen sink and your gold fillings?

  4. Dave says:

    I must really need help since I’m apparently at the bottom of her spam list – I just got it today. Kidding aside, thanks for posting this and sharing info about our mutual “friend” Ophelia. Merry Christmas and all the best.

    Dave – the Naperville Painter (suburb of Chicago)

  5. Jed says:

    I got one of those too and I agree it is an epic fail. She/he/it/HAL has added some great new lines in there:

    “Hello, my name is Ophelia Renee and I am an Internet Rankings Engineer. I performed a Google search for the keyword vet diabetes and upon perusing past the first page, i ran across your website http://www.vetlive.com. I see that your website is currently not listed on the first page for this keyword search.

    The fact is that your ranking and search engine positioning is easily correctable. There is no reason that your website cannot be ranked in the top three positions for the keyword vet diabetes based on your website’s very quality content and solid structure. You have a very good website that is built to convert when it can be found.

    Your website needs high quality one way inbound anchor text links. I can help you with this…etc. etc…

    Would it be okay if I were to give you a call or you can certainly call me anytime. I would love to continue this discussion over the phone with you or should I go somewhere else?

    Sincerely,

    Ophelia XXXXXX”

    Ophelia- I pick option #2 – go somewhere else – don’t care where it really is. How will my business survive without ranking for a vet diabetes, considering all of the veterinarians we treat with diabetes, or veterans or something? BTW- I think http://www.shadesails.com/ will have you beat despite all of Ophelia’s “professional” efforts.

    Best,
    Jed

  6. Michele says:

    Do you guys ever stop and think to yourselves that people are trying to make a living. If you guys don’t like it then just delete, why do you feel the need to talk bad about people. You obviously don’t live by the golden rule, to treat others the way you want to be treated and i feel bad for you guys. Maybe waste your time on things more important in life, like bettering yourselves. I get irritated with people like you that want to slander a name. Is it truly worth the time and energy to talk negatively about people without knowing there situation. God Bless you all!

    • thos003 says:

      Michelle, or should I address you as Ophelia from BDB Firm, or Avery from Echelon Direct?

      Did you hand type out that email I got or was it an automated spam mail? Did you allow your name to be attached to it? Did you approve the message sent to me? Are you willing to face the facts? …admitting who you are would be a good first step.

    • thos003 says:

      I have reconsidered, and I apologize. I have never met the individual named in the email. Further the person that actually spammed the mail out is most likely not sending email under their real name. Therefore, I will be removing from this post the names, domains, and businesses associated with the emails. And whether spamming is right or wrong, it’s not very nice to point faults of others. And I’d prefer to avoid litigation. So I am sorry. If this is not sufficient to appease the individual that feels I have harmed them then feel free to reply and let me know what more I can do.

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